Mom We Need To Talk
by DarkPoltergeist
Summary: Those awkward conversations that every parent dreads as their child grows up…


_Disclaimers:  
>I do not own anything. All rights belong to R.A. Dick <em>_(Josephine Leslie) __and 20__th__Century Fox._

_Also __thanks to all GAMM writers, both from the series and fan-fiction authors for publishing such wonderful stories; there is no attempt on my part to imitate any of these published works._

**Summary: Those awkward conversations that every parent dreads as their child grows up…**

**Mom we need to talk**

By Dark Poltergeist

I don't know exactly when it happened as a teenager only that it did, I began to grow up. It was sometime around my thirteenth birthday, while I was in school that I had my first sex education class. I wasn't surprised as it was among my requirements, all kids had to take the class, and my mother was all for it. She had prepared me and my brother Jonathan long before when she sat us both down at the appropriate time in our life, and explained the basics of how babies were made. She stayed pretty general but we got the idea and at our younger ages that was all that we needed.

But class was different; it was factual and specific, and taught with an air of neutrality. It gave me a lot to think about, and I realized I also had questions about how the physical act tied to things like desire, love and marriage, especially given our abnormally normal family.

I was little when my biological father died, maybe five or so. I don't really remember much about him, only that I tried to make him love me, and it seemed he didn't want to. I realize now that probably wasn't true, but with him and Mom fighting so much, I sometimes thought that it was I and Jonathan that made him unhappy. Jonathan has no real memory of him, and sometimes I envy that since he doesn't remember the fights they had. I was sad when my father died. Mostly because he was my father and I didn't know anything else, because I loved him, and because I was left feeling that I would never have a chance to make him love me. Mom was sad too and cried a lot, but I don't think it was just because he died, I think it was also because they were having trouble with their marriage and hadn't been able to resolve it before his death.

Mom got sick of her relatives, and my father's relative's telling her what to do, so one day she packed us up along with Martha and moved us all to Schooner Bay, Maine and Gull Cottage. The house was in terrible shape when we arrived but it was obvious despite its age that it had a lot of potential to be a home for us. Mom and Jonathan fell in love with it right away and seemed happy to be there, I took a bit more convincing but was nowhere near as unhappy as Martha. We cleaned the house and made it our own, despite Jonathan's insistence that there was a ghost that lived there with us. When I complained to Mom, she would tell Jonathan to stop scaring me but now that I think back to it she never really did tell him to stop talking about the ghost.

Imagine my surprise when a year, a whole year after we had lived there that I found out the ghost of Captain Gregg was real and not one of my brother's imaginary friends! I was really mad that the Captain hadn't introduced himself sooner! Why did Jonathan get to know him from the beginning and I didn't? It took a while but eventually I forgave him, because he really is sweet when he wants to be.

Soon, like my bratty brother, I began to think of the Captain as my Father. He never had any children of his own, and I knew he loved us like we were his. I think we needed a Dad and he needed children, and after a couple of years I followed Jonathan's lead and began to call him 'Dad'. Mom was hesitant at first, but saw how much we loved each other and didn't have the heart to refuse any of us.

And I knew that he loved Mom and that Mom loved him, but I never thought anymore about it because we were a family and we were happy, what more was there to know?

The Captain had learned to be solid, corporeal sometime around the third year we lived here. It took a while but he proudly showed up one day, extended his arms and pulled us to him as he hugged us. Then he stood up and surprised Mom by pulling her close and kissing her. I don't know much about kissing but it was rather long and involved and she seemed rather dazed when they pulled apart, both grinning foolishly.

So now I'm wondering how real is my Dad? I mean obviously they can touch, and kiss, and hug, but can he do anything else? I mean, are Mom and Dad lovers? In any normal family the answer would be yes. But my Dad is a ghost, a spirit, and just isn't like a normal man. I don't really care one way or another, but I am curious, oh so curious about their personal life. So I went in search of Dad for some answers.

I found him in the alcove fiddling with his sea charts. I watched him for a few moments surprised that he hadn't noticed me, as he noticed everything that went on in his house. A few moments to watch him unobserved was a small treasure to me, a moment to study his handsome face, a moment to understand the warm heart he kept hidden beneath a gruff exterior. He may be a spirit but he was a heck of a Dad despite that, and Jonathan and I were very lucky. He suddenly realized I was there watching him and he turned, a smile lighting his face as he saw me.

"Candy, my lass. How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long," I said.

"Something I can do for you?"

"Well, I have some questions for you."

"I will do my best to answer them. Now, what are they?" He asked in a gentle voice. I noticed that he was often that way around women, his tones softer and more tender.

"Let me see your hand."

"My hand?" He gave me a curious look.

"Yes, your hand. I want to look at it."

"Very well," he said with a small shrug an extended his hand to me.

I took it within the two of my own and examined closely, something I had never done before. I could see the tan to his skin, a few freckles which I thought must have something to do with his red hair, but felt a hand beneath my own. Although cool, it seemed to be flesh and I felt the short nails on his fingertips, and the calluses on his hand indicating a hard working life. Not wanting to stop with his hand I felt his arm all the way up to his shoulder and found that he felt like a living person. When I looked at him he was watching me with a bemused expression.

"Are you done yet?" He asked a smile in his eyes.

"You seem real."

"Thank you." He gave me a charming smile. No wonder women liked him when he smiled like that. "May I ask what you're looking for?"

"I'm wondering how real you are." I gave him a nervous smile.

"You've had several years to come up with these questions and you are just getting around to them now?"

"I wasn't curious before. I am now." I hesitated a second before I said anything. "Do you bleed?"

"No, I don't. I don't have any blood."

I gave him a puzzled look. "I don't understand how you can seem so real then."

"Nor do I." He studied me for a moment. "Should I show you what lies beneath my skin?"

"It isn't gross, is it?"

"I don't think so, no worse than a skinned knee."

"Err, okay," I said at last.

The Captain opened a desk drawer and pulled out a jackknife, opened it and paused with the blade above his arm, and looked at me. "I am going to make an incision on my arm. You don't have to watch if you don't want to."

Being more in touch with my tomboy side then my feminine side at that time in my life I wasn't terribly squeamish, so I nodded to him. He took the knife and made a small diagonal cut on his arm, and then set the knife aside. I saw no blood, so I stepped closer. The cut showed what seemed to be moist flesh covered in a gooey substance that looked like glue, the kind you would use to put up wallpaper.

"May I? I asked and stretched out my fingers. "It won't hurt you will it?"

"Not in the least, touch the cut if you want."

So I did. It was so very strange. I rubbed the substance between my fingers and looked at him.

"Some call it ectoplasm; it is commonly associated with spirits."

"Are all spirits made of this?"

"Ones like me? I believe so."

"And this lets you be human."

"Well not quite, but close to it," he said with a smile for me.

"Hmm," I mulled over what he said. This made him real to us and allowed him to touch us, and that was a good thing. But now I wanted to talk to Mom and ask her some more personal questions. Despite the fact that the Captain was my Dad, there are some things that you have to talk to your mother about, I didn't think either one of us wanted to be embarrassed by my current questions.

He looked at me for a long moment, his blue eyes curious. "Anything else?"

"No, not right now." I studied him again and with my new maturity understood that he was an attractive man. He was in shape and handsome, with a great smile and beautiful blue eyes. Maybe this is what Mom saw when she looked at him. "I'm going to go find Mom."

"All right. Let me know if you need anything else."

"Will do," I said and paused long enough to look into my Dad's smiling face. I stepped into him and gave him a hug just because I wanted to, just because I loved him. He held me tightly and placed a kiss on my head before letting me go.

"I love you, my girl," he whispered.

"I love you too, Dad," I said as I stepped away, grinning at him. I loved that he called me that. I was his girl and Mom was his love, it was how things should be.

We parted and he turned back to his charts as I left the room. I went up the stairs to look for Mom in the Master Suite. The door was partially open and I was rewarded with the sound of the typewriter clattering away. I opened the door and slid into the room, sure enough Mom was so engrossed in what she was writing that she didn't hear me. So I gave her a couple of minutes and then I cleared my throat. She looked up from her desk and smiled at me.

"Oh, honey, just give me a minute, I have to finish this train of thought."

"Sure, take your time," I said and sat down on the bed to wait. I watched Mom and wondered what Dad saw in her, not that she wasn't special, but I mean, she was Mom. I tried to be more objective and looked at her, really looked at her and what I saw surprised me. Mom was pretty, not just a little pretty, but very pretty. Short blonde hair, bright green eyes, a beautiful smile, and she had a great figure. No wonder all the men tried to date Mom. After a couple of more minutes she pulled out the typewritten page, gave it a quick once over and then set it aside and offered me a bright smile.

"Mom, we need to talk," I said.

"Oh, this sounds serious."

"It is. I mean it is because I want to learn some things, not because there's anything wrong." I stopped frowning and looked at her, she was smiling at me.

'What are we talking about?" She asked and took a sip of her coffee.

"Sex," I said in a very matter of fact voice.

"What?" She nearly spit out her coffee.

"Sex, Mom, I want to talk about sex."

"All right," Mom gave me a guarded amused look. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, not the mechanics of things, that was pretty well covered in sex ed."

"Thank God," I heard her mutter under her breath.

I suddenly realized that most parents must hate having this kind of talk with their kids. I smothered a smile so that Mom wouldn't see.

"So what then?" Mom looked back at me.

"How does sex work with things like dating and marriage?" I wanted to ask more but thought that was a good place to start.

"Good question."Mom was quiet for a moment as she thought about it. "Sex is generally thought of as a way to express deep feelings to the person you love."

"But you can have sex without love, can't you?"

"Yes, people can and do." Mom sighed and looked sad for a moment, but didn't elaborate. "I would strongly encourage you not to take that road," she said and then gave me the Mom look.

"Message received. So what about dating?"

"Candy, how old are you?" Mom looked exasperated.

"Thirteen, time for me to know more, don't you think?"

"I suppose, "Mom said but didn't look happy. "The most basic thing I can tell you is that you shouldn't have sex with a man unless you love him, and most definitely not for a few years yet."

"Is that a Mom law?" I couldn't help it, I smiled at her.

"Yes, it is. And a Dad law as well. Thank God you came to me; if you had this conversation with Daniel he'd blow a gasket."

I laughed at that because she was right. I didn't think Dad could handle the idea of me dating let alone ever having sex with someone in the future. And I mean ever as in over the course of a lifetime. When I looked back at Mom she was wiping the tears from her eyes apparently we both knew Dad very well.

"He will let me date, won't he?"

"Yeah, maybe when you're thirty!" she said and started laughing again.

I giggled helplessly, knowing what an uphill battle I was going to have with him, but knowing that it was only because he loved me so much. But imagining his expressions caused us to laugh helplessly for a few minutes.

"So, what else, honey?"

"Sex is different when you're in love, isn't it Mom?"

Her expression sobered and she sighed. "It's very different, Candy."

"And have you had sex when you've been in love? And when you're not in love?"

Mom thought a long moment and then nodded. "Yes to both those questions."

I puzzled this out for a moment and then looked at her with a growing understanding. "So you didn't find true love right away?"

"No, I didn't."

"Did you love my father?" I asked, knowing she knew I meant my biological father. She hesitated and I think she was trying not to hurt my feelings. "It's okay, Mom. I love Dad more too."

"That's something I didn't expect to hear from you," she gave me a wry smile.

"I don't remember much about him and that used to make me sad, but then I met the Captain and starting thinking of him as my Dad." I shrugged. "Once I got used to that it mattered less." When I looked at Mom I thought she was going to cry, she seemed so touched by what I had said.

"I'm glad that you feel that way about him," Mom said, tears still in her eyes.

"And how do you feel about him, Mom?"

"Daniel?" she asked, as if there was anyone else to even consider.

"Do you love him? I asked and watched her face carefully.

"Yes, I do."

"So does that mean you're in love with him? I persisted knowing my mother's ability to sidestep issues when she so chose to do so.

"What do you think?" she asked, turning the question back to me.

"Well considering how much time you two spend together and how you're always touching each other in front of everyone, I'd say that you are definitely in love with him and that he is in love with you."

"We do that?" She seemed horrified.

"You don't know? You do it all the time," I grinned at her and she put a hand over her mouth.

"Candy, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize…"

"Don't worry, Mom. The hugging and kissing, we're all used to it, we hardly even notice anymore."

Mom sat down on the bed, muttering to herself about being more discreet in the future and I sat down next to her.

"So are you in love with Dad?" I asked and watched a blush creep up her face and she gave me a smile that lit up the room.

"Very much so."

I frowned, thinking things through, and tried to figure out how it was possible for my mother to be physical with a ghost. I mean, he was an incredible spirit, but how could he possible manage the elements of sex that I had leaned. He wasn't alive, he didn't have blood, and so if being physically intimate was a key element of a relationship for two people in love, then how did Mom work around his limitations?

I felt my hand being squeezed and gave Mom an uncertain look. I wanted to know but didn't know how to ask.

'Honey?"

"Are you two lovers?" I blurted out, looked her in the face, and then back at my shoes, my face flushing in embarrassment.

"Well, err…yes we are," she answered quietly.

"But he's a ghost! He doesn't have blood, how can he…" I knew my skin tone was scarlet red by now but apparently I was on a mission.

"How can he make love to me?"

"Yeah, that," I muttered. "I mean does he feel…you know, real?"

"I think this conversation is getting a bit too personal, but to satisfy your curiosity, yes he does make love to me and yes he most definitely feels real. In fact, he's a marvelous lover," Mom said and I saw a twinkle in her eyes. Now she was intentionally embarrassing me. After a moment, she took my chin in her hand and forced me to look at her.

"As far as Daniel and I are concerned we are married and have every intention of staying together. So we behave like any married couple. We are married in every sense of the word," she said.

"But he's a ghost! He couldn't even be solid until a year ago."

"Yes, that was a problem for a while," she sighed.

"And if he couldn't be real, would you still be married to him?" I asked, trying to understand how important this was to them.

"That's a tough question. I didn't realize how much being physical meant to me until I couldn't be physical with him." She frowned in thought. "But I also realized that it wasn't just being with a man, any man that mattered. It wasn't the act that mattered, it was Daniel." She shook her hand. "I struggled with it for a long time but realized I was in love with him, and he with me, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it." She laughed. "I was hopelessly in love with a ghost who couldn't touch me, and I couldn't touch him. But in the end it didn't matter because I loved him anyway."

Mom and I looked at each other for a few moments.

"Is this enough for one day or do you have more questions?"

"Just one. Will I find someone like Dad?" I knew my expression was earnest and so was my question. Dad was wonderful, he loved us and Mom and treated us like his most valued treasure, and would do anything he could to protect us. I somehow knew that in a couple of years I would find that trait annoying but at the moment I thought it was endearing.

"Oh, honey, I hope so." Mom hugged me to her and I hugged her back.

When I leaned back I looked into her face and grinned at her.

"What?" she asked, no doubt seeing the twinkle in my eyes. I blame her for that, as that's who I believe that I inherited that trait from.

"I think I'll go and embarrass him."

"Candy!" She gave me her scolding look but I heard the laughter in her voice.

"Wanna come with?"

"I'd better not. I'll hear about it shortly after you're done." She smiled at me. "Don't be too hard on him; he hasn't dealt with this part of being a father."

"I'll go easy on him," I agreed, and with a parting hug for my mother I left the room.

Captain Gregg was downstairs, pretty much in the same place I had left him, once again buried in his charts. I went up to where he sat and stood beside him. After a few moments he realized I was there, set his pen aside and with a smile turned to face me.

"Candy, you're back. What can I do for you?"

I know I shouldn't have been so evil but I couldn't resist the opportunity to embarrass him. It happened so rarely, and I knew that he would most certainly embarrass me once I started dating.

"I have another question for you," I gave him a curious look.

"Then once again I will do my best to answer you." He rubbed his hands together in anticipation of some stimulating conversation as we often lapsed into extended talks.

"Are you Mom's lover?" I asked, and gave him my best innocent expression.

"What?" he whispered, mostly to himself I think, but I asked again anyway.

"Are you Mom's lover?" I asked and gave him an imploring look as if knowing the answer meant the world to me. "I mean, do you have sex with her?" I shouldn't have added that last bit, because he was already squirming uncomfortably, but I wanted to enjoy this moment.

"Candy…" he stammered, and then tried several times to say something, but no words came out. I have to give the man credit though, he gathers him composure very quickly. He put a hand to his head like he had a headache closed his eyes and then drew himself up before opening his eyes. I was practically biting my cheeks so that I didn't laugh.

"Candy, that is something you should discuss with your mother," he intoned his best Dad voice and somber expression.

"Nah, I wanted to ask you. So?"

"How old are you?" He asked again.

"Thirteen."

"And why are you asking this?"

"We just finished a class in sex education at school and it got me to thinking…"

"You had what kind of a class at school?" He got out of his chair, angry at what I had just told him. "How dare they teach children, young girls about such things!" He practically roared. Clearly he was trying to distract me. I watched him with quiet eyes while he carried on for a couple of minutes.

"It's okay, Dad. All of the kids had the class, Mom said it was okay, and things are different now than when you were alive," I said with great patience.

He stopped yelling and looked at me, almost like seeing me for the first time, his clear blue eyes almost sad. He gave me a slow smile. "It is true, you are growing up."

I couldn't help it, just like Mom I blushed when he gave me a certain look, and he knew it, the rat!

"Yeah, Dad, I am. So…answer the question."

"What question?" He pretended not to remember.

"Are you Mom's lover?"

"Yes. Not just physically, but in all ways. You do know that we think of ourselves as married?"

'Yeah, I kind of thought that," I nodded.

"You don't want me to explain anything else, do you?" He asked but looked terribly frightened by any words that might come out of my mouth. It was so hard not to laugh! I took pity on him though and went to a safer topic.

"You will let me date, won't you?"

He scowled. "When it is appropriate we will talk about it."

"When will that be?"

"Never, "I heard him mutter as he turned away from me.

"Dad!"I said in a sharp voice.

"All right, fine. We will discuss it sometime before never."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe when you thirty," he grumbled.

"Dad!" I stomped my foot.

"Let's just say we will discuss this topic later. You don't have anyone in mind yet, do you?" He asked suspiciously.

"No, just telling you."

He made an unhappy noise and I laughed. He looked even more put out but I then poked at his ribs and eventually he chuckled with me as well.

"You're not mad at me?" I asked

"Why would I be mad at you, my girl?" He pulled me to him and hugged me, and I hugged him back. I always felt so safe, protected, and loved when he hugged me.

"Well, good. I might have more questions later."

"Very well," he gave me a pained expression. "I utterly detest the fact that you're growing up, you know that don't you?"

"You do? Why?" I blinked at him in surprise.

"Because you won't be my little girl anymore," He sighed as if had just discovered something that even he wasn't aware of.

I studied him for a long moment and saw the sadness in his eyes. How could he even think that?

"Dad, don't you know?" I asked and gave him a smile.

"What?" He asked in that deep, tender voice of his.

"I'll always be your daughter; I'll always be your little girl."

"And I'll always be here for you," he gave me a gentle hug again.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

We stayed like that for a couple of minutes, until I pulled away from him and looked up into his eyes. He put a finger under my chin and looked in my face. "You are so beautiful, just like your mother," he said, and I knew it was the highest compliment he could give me.

"Thanks Dad." I gave him a happy grin, and couldn't resist one more jab. Again, I blame my mother for my sense of humor. "Say, have you ever thought about something?"

"About what?" His brows drew together in apprehension.

"Have you and Mom ever thought about having a baby?" Now, I knew they couldn't do that because of what he was, or at least I was pretty sure about it, but I also knew it would really get him. See, evil.

He coughed, really coughed, and turned beet red, something I didn't think ghosts could do, maybe he was remembering a really embarrassing moment. And with a last panicked look at me, he disappeared from sight.

I sighed, but grinned anyway. I had probably pushed him too far but he was just so easy to tease sometimes, and I knew no matter what disagreements we may have now or in the future, he really was my Dad and I loved him.

So I had learned a lot, more than either of my parents really wanted me to know. It would be interesting to see how uncomfortable they were around me the next few days. I didn't care because I knew that no matter how unconventional, my parents loved both me and my brother Jonathan. And that they truly loved each other. It was perfect, they were perfect, and my family was perfect, at least at this moment.

Happy, I went in search of my brother knowing that my parents would be comparing notes. You know what? Growing up isn't really so hard, not if you have groovy parents.

_AN: I wanted to write a Candy story and since she is the first one to get to these questions this story seemed like a good fit for her. I should mention that this story came about in part due to my beloved nephew. He was about Candy's age in the story when out of the blue he started to ask me questions about sex and relationships. I was quite shocked at first and didn't know what to do. I had assumed he would have all of these awkward conversations with his parents and therefore I was off the hook and could continue to be the cool aunty. Then he surprised me. I was embarrassed as he looked at me expectantly and thought about deferring his questions, but he trusted me enough to ask, and I was not only a 'girl' but his aunt, so that said a lot. I thought this all out very quickly, swallowed my embarrassment and had a very enlightening conversation with the nephew. Now he just does it to embarrass me! Anyhow, a common factor in most families that I though deserved some attention in GAMM, so here it is. I hope you enjoyed my little offering in the realm of Candy stores._

_Please read and review and tell me what you think; reviews are very welcome._


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